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15 things my puppy taught me about life

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I’ve had dogs my entire life, so I can plainly see why it’s so easy to wax-poetic about the bonds between man and his best friend. 

I mean, seriously, who didn’t cry at the end of “Marley and Me?”

Three weeks ago I adopted a little mutt puppy and named him Orion. Two weeks ago we took him to the vet and, in one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, realized “he” was actually a “she.” 

Let’s just say the vet inspected more thoroughly than I did. 

Her name is now Callie, and she is the first puppy I’ve shared a home with since I was a little boy. Somewhere in that decade I forgot a lot of the things my previous puppy taught me about life. Thankfully, Callie has been kind enough to remind me. 

Without further ado, I humbly present the 15 things my puppy has taught me over the past few weeks.

• Take a nap whenever possible. There is no such thing as a bad nap.

• Belly rubs: ask and you shall receive.

• If you are not eating, sleeping or pooping, you should be playing. 

• Love unconditionally.

• Forgive unconditionally.

• Listen to authority. If you don’t like what authority has to say, ignore it and carry on with whatever you were going to do in the first place.

• Food is good. Cheese is the currency of the gods. 

• When in trouble, act cute. It may save your life.

• Never trust a vacuum.

• If it itches, scratch it.

• It’s never a bad time to chase butterflies, roll around in the grass and sniff flowers.

• If you dig up a hornet’s nest and 15-20 of them are chasing you, run and hide under master’s chair. He will know what to do.

• Puppy-eyes can move mountains.

• New things are not scary. New things are exciting and should be explored.

• And finally, poop happens. When life gives you poop, dig a hole, bury it, and move on.

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