Slices of Life
We need not hate
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“When hate feels easy, be very wary, lest your hate becomes greater than the one who is hated. Because it is at that point you turn the corner toward evil.”
Today, I’ve been contemplating hate.
It’s a definite switch for me. I prefer for focus on love, because love is so much more important and impactful and life-changing. When you truly embrace love, there is no room for hate.
But the recent political activities have brought up strong feelings in many people and some of those involve hate. I’ve listened to the news. I’ve heard people vent in real time. I’ve read posts on social media. And, sadly, there is much hate circulating the airwaves.
It’s made me wonder and ponder the topic.
I don’t purport to have all the answers. In this column, as in many others, I’m only answering for myself and from my perspective. I hope to encourage thought, discussion and awareness, but I certainly don’t have any of the answers, much less all of them. What I do have are questions.
My first: Is hate ever justified?
I think not. Stay with me here.
But what about serial killers? What about parents who horribly abuse their children? What about sadists and sociopaths? What about elder abuse? What about schoolyard bullies? What about leaders who use their power in inhumane ways? Isn’t that worth our hate?
I think not.
We can have many negative emotions about the actions taken by very bad people, but those emotions do not need to lead to hate.
Hate is a very strong word when it comes to describe feelings toward other people.
We can hate Brussels sprouts. We can hate a rainy Saturday when we had plans to go to the beach. We can hate cancer. We can hate the death of a loved one.
But hating another person - even if they do unquestionably bad things?
I think not.
Here’s the thing: we can hate the actions - the bad things - without hating the person. I know I may be splitting hairs, but I don’t think it’s in our capacity to hate others. It goes against our DNA. Hate is counterintuitive to what we are meant to be. We are meant to be inclusive. To be brothers and sisters. To be family. To love.
Hate is contrary to love. The two cannot co-exist. And we simply cannot live without love.
I remember the Broadway musical, “Wicked.” It is the backstory to “The Wizard of Oz”, and tells of the origins of the Wicked Witch of the West. As a child I feared her. She was mean and vengeful. She was threatening and combative. She was scary.
She demonstrated no meaningful attributes, because that is what the 1939 movie showed us. But upon seeing the history in “Wicked,” the viewer came to understand the witch who was labeled wicked. Her story illustrated why she became who she was and in knowing that it was much more difficult to see her in the light of all the negative adjectives listed above.
It became more difficult to hate her.
I think that might be the case with most people we deem hate-worthy. We don’t know them or their history.
I’m not making excuses for inexcusable behavior, but I am saying that people - each of us - live out our own history, and while behaviors might be inexcusable and hateful, people themselves are not.
We may have to put them in prison for the rest of their life. We may have to relegate them to whatever justice suits their actions. We may renounce their actions and mourn with the people they hurt. We may never get over the impact they made on our lives.
But we need not hate.
Hate brings about such negativity to the person experiencing it. Hate hurts the person doing the hating, much more than it hurts the hated.
Hate does not heal. It does not inspire. It does not illicit compassion. It does not foster kindness. It does no good.
Instead it eats one from the inside out. Hate is black and bleak where there could be light and love.
So, go ahead, hate broccoli or the smell of moth balls, but reject hate against other humans. It does them no good. But more importantly, it does you no good. Compassion, on the other hand goes a long way to accomplishing something.
Something beautiful. And loving and lovely.
And that, my friends, is my wish for you. Today and every day.
