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Mission Valley families share successes, downfalls of home education

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Next month, 17-year-old Anjeli Doty will graduate from high school and prepare to take the next steps in her life. She is excited to receive her diploma and has already sent out 150 graduation invitations. Anjeli is also expected to read a senior speech to the crowd, but she isn’t that nervous, because every single person in attendance will be there to see her graduate — and only her.

“There are no other graduating homeschooled seniors in the Mission Valley,” Anjeli said.

Anjeli is one of six children who have been homeschooled by parents Connie and John Doty of Polson.

The Doty family is one of 129 homeschooling families with a total of 250 students in Lake County, according to recent counts kept by the office of the Lake County Superintendent. These numbers have increased from seven months ago, when, according to the official count date on Oct. 3, 2011, there were 106 families in Lake County who homeschooled a total of 218 children.

“It has slowly grown at about eight percent a year in the past 10 years,” estimated Lake County Superintendent Gale Decker. However, he added that this increase doesn’t boast significant numbers, especially when compared to neighboring Flathead County who has twice as many homeschooling families.

“I think a lot of it is just the remoteness (of Flathead County) it might be quite a distance to a school.”

In 2003, homeschooling statistics indicated that there were 1,096,000 estimated homeschooled children K-12 in the United States. This was a 29-percent increase from 1999, which showed 850,000 students. From 2007 to 2008, there were 2.0 to 2.5 million homeschooled students. According to the National Home Education Research Institute, home education grows about 5 to 12 percent a year. Reasons for homeschooling included environment at other schools (31 percent), religious and moral reasons (30 percent) and dissatisfaction with academic instruction at other schools (16 percent), according to the National Center for Education Statistics study published in 2006. 

In Montana, homeschooling has sometimes been a hotly debated topic, containing a long history of advocates working to protect the rights of homeschooling families in the legislature.

In 2005, there were several bill requests that would have affected the landscape of homeschooling today. One bill would have required a homeschooling parent to have either a college degree or teaching certificate. If not, a certified teacher would have monitored the parent for two years. 

“Every legislative session they talk about increasing the requirements when it comes to homeschooling … they are reluctant to make changes in the law. Montana is a pretty independent (state) and likes to protect the individual rights and liberties of its people,” Decker said.  

In 1895 and 1903, the Montana legislature acknowledged home schools, but it wasn’t until the 1983 legislative session when advocates of homeschooling worked to obtain protection for home and private education. Today there are few terms and conditions parents must abide by in order to homeschool their children. According to Decker, parents really only need to notify the county superintendent that they will be homeschooling their children. They are also required to maintain records of attendance and disease immunization. When it comes to the organized course of study, parents are required teach the basics of language arts, mathematics, social studies, good citizenship, science, arts, health and physical education and safety. Though there are no school districts in the Mission Valley that are required to allow homeschooled students join their sports teams or activities, but they are required  by law to offer drivers education. 

The reasons some families in the Mission Valley choose to educate at home are as varied as their children’s personalities. But across the board, all the parents seem to agree that education is about more than just writing, reading and arithmetic. They say there are many life skills and lessons that cannot be taught in the classroom or by anyone but a parent.

“I would take my child to the doctor for a broken arm but not for a runny nose or sneezing. I don’t need a professional to love my child,” Connie said of her and her husband John’s decision to teach their children at home. 

Though Connie is a certified teacher, she has never taught her own class. She has substituted and tutored a number of times. Nevertheless, Connie and John have always felt they were able to give their children a good base of knowledge. And when the needed skill set becomes more advanced, the Dotys seek outside assistance. 

“There are just tons of resources to fill in the gaps,” John said, citing online courses, virtual schools and even taking classes from local private or public schools if the option is available. Decker explained that this option varies from district to district. 

Homeschooling families often share books and teaching materials to save on cost. In some communities, homeschooling families have formed associations and systems of networking to create additional social activities for their children and exchange information. 

However, some local families believe this sense of community seen in neighboring towns, such as Kalispell, is lacking in the Mission Valley.

 “In this area, there is a high population of homeschooling families but they are very independent,” said Julie Conrad, who moved to Ronan from Oregon with her family a few years ago. 

The Conrads agreed that moving to the Mission Valley was a bit of a shock. They went from a city that offered a number of classes, museums and camps to an area where homeschooling families largely operate independently from each other.  

The Mission Valley Home Educators was an association in the area that used to meet monthly for a family potluck dinner, followed by announcements, exchange of information and usually a program or guest speaker. The idea was that those new to homeschooling and “veterans” could all mingle, share ideas and ask questions. 

Connie and John are still listed as contacts for the association and though they get a few inquiries every month, it has been a while since all the families in the area have  organized. The association was especially active before the passing of Jack Murphy in 2000. Longtime supporters of home education, Jack and his wife Ann Murphy homeschooled all 12 of their children. 

“We’ve been talking for many months to get that going again,” Connie said. “(We understand) that it takes a lot to get into a community and we are a good starting point.”

Just like any form of education, whether it is public, private, and online or homeschool; all present different barriers and windows to children’s success. And the reasons parents choose to homeschool are as varied as the personalities of their children.

“Teachers are the most admirable people. It’s really an invitation to join you in parenting,” said Lourina Dupuis, the mother of two homeschooled children. “But you know their hearts, mind and what makes them tick. You have the ability to teach life skills.”
 
Dupuis cited her son Ray, who is now in the Army, as an example of someone who benefited greatly from homeschooling. As his mother, she saw his potential and his downfalls. 
 
“I knew if we put our son in school, he would be in trouble all the time. He would be the class clown,” Dupuis said. 
 
For a number of homeschool parents, the connection with their children is a big factor in their decision to home educate. The decision also stems from a desire to be there to watch their children learn and grow. But while this ability to be available every day is considered a luxury by most parents, many homeschooling families say it should be an option exercised only if it fits their needs and benefits the children. 
 
“It’s hard to live on one income instead of probably two,” said Ann. “It’s like marriage, I wouldn’t enter into it lightly.”
 
“You are mom and a teacher,” said Conrad, whose daughter Tasha Avison was homeschooled for most of her life before attending Polson High School where she graduated in 2009. 
 
“It made our bond closer,” Avison said of her mother, noting that she felt comfortable interacting with adults as a result of her education. “I always had friends who were older than me.” 
 
Avison said the homeschool environment put a whole new perspective on all the relationships in the home. 
 
“It’s a different environment being together than just being siblings,” said Avison of learning alongside sometimes younger or older brothers and sisters. “We help each other sometimes without knowing we are helping each other.”
 
“One of the things you deal with is if someone hits someone or hurts someone’s feelings. It’s not just about academics, it’s also about getting along with each other,” Ann shared.
 
In addition to dealing with the sometimes added pressure of a different family dynamic, there is the added weight of financial stress.
 
“It was very tight for us financially (in the beginning), now we have a little bit of breathing room,” Dupuis shared.
 
But when parent and teacher blend just right, many homeschool parents say the results are rewarding.
 
“It thrills me when my older kids learn how to solve a math problem they were really struggling with … so many times you hear parents say, ‘I wasn’t there to see her take her first step,’” Connie said. 
 
Some other reasons parents said they opted out of public schooling was to protect their children from bullying, which has become an big issue in schools across America.
 
Jessica Edwards, a homeschool mother, who was homeschooled throughout her childhood, pointed to the differences between her upbringing and her husband’s.  
 
“His classmates told him he was weird and stupid, and his sense of identity was shaped by his peers … and even now it’s hard for him to accept his new identity,” Edwards said. “My parents told me who I was and that God created me and that I was wonderful. I assumed that if I tried at something I would succeed and it’s really set me up for success.”
 
“It’s about choices, while you want to save them you also want to prepare them,” Dupuis said. 
 
As her children grow up, Dupuis she said her own life is changing as well. 
 
“I love to work. It was huge to give up my career, but I wouldn’t do it any different, ” Dupuis confessed, adding that she plans to take a class at Salish Kootenai College and get a part-time job.
 
And though it may cut into financials, many of the parents agreed homeschooling is a job.
 
But after the hours logged in the classroom and on the road driving to private piano, voice, dance, and sports practices, they say the payoff is much more rewarding than any dollar amount. 
 
“It’s not just about the three ‘Rs’, it’s a lifestyle,” John said. 

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