Slices of Life
Maintaining the personal in an impersonal world
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By definition, I am an introvert. I’m usually okay with time alone and minimal interactions with other humans. I enjoy conversations within my own head and maybe, perhaps have a significant relationship with both my phone and my laptop.
However, lately I’ve noticed the world has sort of taken this concept and injected it with steroids.
In just the last decade or so, things have changed. COVID fueled these changes, but they were occurring even before the pandemic. Gradually – or perhaps not so gradually – we are losing our day-to-day human connections. Our world is becoming more and more impersonal.
For most of my lifetime friendships used to involve actually meeting in-person – for lunch, happy hour or play dates.
Now, I have friends online whom I’ve never met. They live in different cities and different states than me. Sometimes I forget who they are and wonder how we ever became “friends” in the first place. But I feel close to quite a few of them; I just don’t know if we’ll ever meet in person.
Speaking of meetings, how did we exist before the likes of Zoom?
These next few are going to date me (and not like going out to the Steve Martin movie called “The Jerk” with a cute guy in high school).
My mom never learned how to pump her own gas. She grew up and grew into adulthood having someone pump it for her, and she liked it that way. When the gas guy left his post, he was replaced by a new gas guy - my dad, who made sure my mom’s tank was also at least half-full.
Remember standing in line for concert tickets? Sometimes we’d sleep on the sidewalk. Lordy, lordy, what we’d do to see REO Speedwagon, Styx or Journey live.
Now we have the privilege of picking our exact seats without ever leaving the comfort of our living rooms - until concert day. They haven’t been able to figure out how to provide us with the true concert experience from our homes. Not yet, but I’m sure it’s coming.
My daughter and her family haven’t been to the grocery store in more than a year. There is no need. They order online and do a pick up at the store without ever leaving their car. There is no need for human contact - just a credit card.
Shopping in general has changed. I recently furnished an entire house online. The same goes for kitchen appliances. I live in a rural area, so my experience may be different from someone in a big city, but my appliances weren’t even available to see at the appliance store that’s more than an hour’s drive from my home. So I read the online descriptions about features, picked out the models of my choice, measured carefully and had them delivered. I’m happy to say they all fit!
Remember when banking was in in-person thing? A few months ago, I needed a document notarized so had to visit a real, live brick and mortar bank. I hadn’t been in one for at least a year.
I recently bought a new home and had the option to do the closing online. I wonder how long it will be before we can get something notarized online. Or perhaps get married online?
Why meet the person in-person when you can marry them first?
How far are we going to take this? I’m almost afraid of the answer to this semi-facetious question.
I think we, as humans, crave real-alive connections, and there is nothing the Internet or our phones can ever do to replicate that. And whether we realize it or not, they just might be contributing to our loneliness.
How sad, and lonely, is that?
My advice? Close your laptop. Put down your phone. Go outside. Say hello to your neighbor. Start a conversation.
Even if you are an introvert. Especially so.
Take it from me. We all need each other.
Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright and author. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.
